Have something in common.

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Josh Aterovis"><B><IMG SRC="57fa77d0.jpg" border=0 width="167" height="125" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="news_and_events.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="News Events">News & Events</A></div> <div> <A HREF="novels__short_stories.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Writings">Writings</A></div> <div> <A HREF="order_books.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Order Books">Order Books</A></div> <div> <A HREF="blog.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Blog">Blog</A></div> <div> <A HREF="press_room.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Press Room">Press Room</A></div> <div> <A HREF="contact_the_author.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Contact the Author">Contact the Author</A></div> <div> <A HREF="art_gallery.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Art Gallery">Art Gallery</A></div> <div> <A HREF="resources_and_links.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Resources and Links">Resources and Links</A></div> <bR> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" width="100%" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Courier New" ><B>Josh Aterovis</B></FONT>     |     <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Josh Aterovis">home</A>     <A HREF="rules_of_gay_dating.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Rules of Gay Dating">Rules of Gay Dating</A></div> <div> <A HREF="be_honest.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Be honest.">Be honest.</A>   ·   <A HREF="know_who_attracts_you.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Know who attracts you.">Know who attracts you.</A>   ·   <B>Have something in common.</B>   ·   <A HREF="know_your_expectations.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Know your expectations.">Know your expectations.</A>   ·   <A HREF="make_sure_you_have_chemistry.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Make sure you have chemistry.">Make sure you have chemistry.</A>   ·   <A HREF="have_a_plan.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Have a plan.">Have a plan.</A>   ·   <A HREF="be_interested_and_interestin.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Be interested and interesting.">Be interested and interesting.</A>   ·   <A HREF="know_what_to_avoid_and_when_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Know what to avoid and when to bail.">Know what to avoid and when to bail.</A>   ·   <A HREF="dont_rush_it.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dont rush it.">Don't rush it.</A>   ·   <A HREF="have_fun.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Have fun!">Have fun!</A></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Have something in common.</B></div> <div> <IMG SRC="3d4ba050.gif" border=0 width="442" height="5" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> There's a lot of truth in the old cliché that opposites attract. Unfortunately, if you don't have some things in common, the attraction more than likely will turn into resentment over time. Which is why my third rule of dating is simple: Have something in common.</div> <bR> <div> Every healthy couple I know has common interests. Much like Bigfoot, I've heard tales of happy couples with no overlapping interests, who lead completely separate lives, only coming together in the bedroom. Also like Bigfoot, I've never met one of them in person. Where Sasquatch and these couples differ, however, is that I'm willing to accept the existence of one of them — the tall, hairy one with big feet.</div> <bR> <div> Let me explain. I'm not actually questioning the existence of the couple with no common interests, just how healthy or happy they actually might be. Maybe it works for some people, but by my definition, a healthy couple is one that is friends first and foremost...and friends do stuff together. Friends have common interests. That's why they become your friends in the first place. Otherwise, the person you occasionally bump into in the bedroom is a sex buddy who you happen to live with. He's a roommate with benefits. Hey, if that's all you're looking for, more power to you, but let's call a spade a spade.</div> <bR> <div> So how does all that relate to dating? Unless you're just having fun — and there's nothing wrong with that as long as you make that clear up front — then the whole point of dating is to find a life partner. To once more borrow from the analogy I used in <A HREF="know_who_attracts_you.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Know who attracts you.">Rule #2</A>, you're taking your date on a test drive. If you like the way he handles, you'll commit for the journey. If not, on to the next model.</div> <bR> <div> Dating is a great opportunity to find out how you really mesh with someone. Of course, with many online dating sites, you may have already had the chance to see where each other's interests lie, but too often people do just that: lie. Which harkens back to <A HREF="be_honest.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Be honest.">Rule #1: Be honest</A>! Why say you like sipping wine at home when you really prefer guzzling Buds at the bar? You're looking for someone with whom you're compatible. Why make it harder than it has to be to find that someone?</div> <bR> <div> You can use their interests to rule out some prospects. If you live for movies so much that Netflix can't keep up with you, you might want to look for a fellow cinemaphile. If you love hiking and camping and looking for proof of Bigfoot, someone who's idea of roughing it is a hotel without room service might not be your best match. Unless you're like me and occasionally go on dates just because they seem like they might be interesting or make a good story — I'm a writer, what can I say? — it might be a good idea to start crossing off people with whom you have nothing in common. Admittedly, there's something to be said for broadening your horizons, but let's be honest, if your idea of a nice night out is a fancy dinner and a night at the symphony, and your potential date prefers hotdogs and a ballgame, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment.</div> <bR> <div> Once on the date, use the opportunity to really get to know one another. A lot of these rules overlap, so we'll get into this more in <A HREF="be_interested_and_interestin.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Be interested and interesting.">Rule #7</A>, but talk to each other. Bring up your favorite musicians, discuss your hobbies, ask your date about his favorite movies, books, TV shows...whatever. The point is that you can learn a lot about someone by their interests. One of the most important things you can learn is what you have in common.</div> <bR> <div> Now, don't think you have to be carbon copies of each other. That's just boring. You'll more than likely tire of each other quickly and start looking for diversions, anything to spice things up a bit. Some differences keep a little mystery in your relationship, and can open you up to new experiences. Make sure, though, that you have enough common ground to build a solid foundation. There's nothing worse than setting up house only to discover it's slowly falling apart. Oh, and as for Bigfoot? You know what they say about big feet... Until next time...Happy Dating!</div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>