Know who attracts you.

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Josh Aterovis"><B><IMG SRC="57fa77d0.jpg" border=0 width="167" height="125" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="news_and_events.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="News Events">News & Events</A></div> <div> <A HREF="novels__short_stories.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Writings">Writings</A></div> <div> <A HREF="order_books.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Order Books">Order Books</A></div> <div> <A HREF="blog.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Blog">Blog</A></div> <div> <A HREF="press_room.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Press Room">Press Room</A></div> <div> <A HREF="contact_the_author.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Contact the Author">Contact the Author</A></div> <div> <A HREF="art_gallery.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Art Gallery">Art Gallery</A></div> <div> <A HREF="resources_and_links.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Resources and Links">Resources and Links</A></div> <bR> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" width="100%" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Courier New" ><B>Josh Aterovis</B></FONT>     |     <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Josh Aterovis">home</A>     <A HREF="rules_of_gay_dating.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Rules of Gay Dating">Rules of Gay Dating</A></div> <div> <A HREF="be_honest.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Be honest.">Be honest.</A>   ·   <B>Know who attracts you.</B>   ·   <A HREF="have_something_in_common.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Have something in common.">Have something in common.</A>   ·   <A HREF="know_your_expectations.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Know your expectations.">Know your expectations.</A>   ·   <A HREF="make_sure_you_have_chemistry.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Make sure you have chemistry.">Make sure you have chemistry.</A>   ·   <A HREF="have_a_plan.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Have a plan.">Have a plan.</A>   ·   <A HREF="be_interested_and_interestin.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Be interested and interesting.">Be interested and interesting.</A>   ·   <A HREF="know_what_to_avoid_and_when_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Know what to avoid and when to bail.">Know what to avoid and when to bail.</A>   ·   <A HREF="dont_rush_it.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dont rush it.">Don't rush it.</A>   ·   <A HREF="have_fun.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Have fun!">Have fun!</A></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Know who attracts you.</B></div> <div> <IMG SRC="3d4ba050.gif" border=0 width="442" height="5" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> What's the number one rule of shopping for a major purchase - be it a car, a house, or even an appliance? Know what you're looking for. Do you want a car, a truck, or an SUV? What make? Model? Two doors or four? What color? Is the backseat big enough for sex? The list goes on and on, but the more you know before you set out for the dealership, the better off you'll be. If you show up without knowing what you're looking for, the selection can be a little overwhelming.</div> <bR> <div> Of course, there's something to be said for shopping around. You'll have a better idea of what you want after you've taken a few test drives. No amount of research can replace the value of actual experience. It helps to know how it handles, how it responds.</div> <bR> <div> How does all this relate to dating? The more you know about what you want out of a guy — and a relationship — the less time you'll waste on lemons. Okay, to be fair, just because a guy isn't your type doesn't make him a lemon, but still...if you have no interest in a Toyota Corolla, then why bother when there are so many more cars on the lot?</div> <bR> <div> Most people have a good idea about what attracts them. Tall or short? Slim or stocky? Hairy or smooth? I heard a story not too long ago about a guy who carries business cards printed with the letters "NFE." He hands them out to guys who hit on him at the bar, and when they flip the card over it says, "Not Fat Enough." This is clearly a guy who knows what he's looking for.</div> <bR> <div> What if you're not so sure about what you want in a date? After being with the same guy for eight years, I really had no idea what I was looking for...except I didn't want the same thing I'd had. I'd never explored my options. So I set out on a very deliberate experiment. I decided to date different kinds of guys to see what worked for me and what didn't. Six months of dating later, I had a much better grasp on what attracts me. And I have a lot of great stories. Don't worry, we'll get to those.</div> <bR> <div> In the meantime, here's a for-instance. I discovered I don't like dating guys taller than me. For some reason, psychologically, it makes me feel as if I have to be the more submissive one in the relationship — which just isn't my personality. I end up feeling very conflicted and uncomfortable. So, that means you must be under this height to ride this ride.</div> <bR> <div> Once you know your type, does that mean you should never date someone outside of it? I say if someone interests you, go for it, regardless of type. Maybe you don't usually go for the intellectual guys, but you might actually like being mentally challenged for a change. Or maybe you don't usually go for big, burly guys, but you could like getting tossed around a little. While it may not work out in the long run, it's never a bad thing to expand your horizons — and who knows, you could just find out you have a thing for bears after all! If nothing else, you'll have a great story to tell all your friends.</div> <bR> <div> On the flip side, if you've been dating the same sort of guy for some time now, and it never works out, then maybe it's time to shake things up a bit. You could be choosing the wrong sort of guy. No, Virginia, you can't change the bad boy. He isn't going to settle down and marry you.</div> <bR> <div> So in summation, figure out what you're attracted to — and I don't just mean physically — but don't get too locked-in to one sort of person. Keep your options open. And don't forget to check under the hood. Gentlemen, start your engines! Until next time...Happy Dating!</div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>