Know your expectations.

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Josh Aterovis"><B><IMG SRC="57fa77d0.jpg" border=0 width="167" height="125" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="news_and_events.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="News Events">News & Events</A></div> <div> <A HREF="novels__short_stories.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Writings">Writings</A></div> <div> <A HREF="order_books.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Order Books">Order Books</A></div> <div> <A HREF="blog.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Blog">Blog</A></div> <div> <A HREF="press_room.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Press Room">Press Room</A></div> <div> <A HREF="contact_the_author.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Contact the Author">Contact the Author</A></div> <div> <A HREF="art_gallery.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Art Gallery">Art Gallery</A></div> <div> <A HREF="resources_and_links.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Resources and Links">Resources and Links</A></div> <bR> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" width="100%" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Courier New" ><B>Josh Aterovis</B></FONT>     |     <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Josh Aterovis">home</A>     <A HREF="rules_of_gay_dating.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Rules of Gay Dating">Rules of Gay Dating</A></div> <div> <A HREF="be_honest.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Be honest.">Be honest.</A>   ·   <A HREF="know_who_attracts_you.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Know who attracts you.">Know who attracts you.</A>   ·   <A HREF="have_something_in_common.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Have something in common.">Have something in common.</A>   ·   <B>Know your expectations.</B>   ·   <A HREF="make_sure_you_have_chemistry.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Make sure you have chemistry.">Make sure you have chemistry.</A>   ·   <A HREF="have_a_plan.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Have a plan.">Have a plan.</A>   ·   <A HREF="be_interested_and_interestin.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Be interested and interesting.">Be interested and interesting.</A>   ·   <A HREF="know_what_to_avoid_and_when_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Know what to avoid and when to bail.">Know what to avoid and when to bail.</A>   ·   <A HREF="dont_rush_it.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dont rush it.">Don't rush it.</A>   ·   <A HREF="have_fun.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Have fun!">Have fun!</A></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Know your expectations.</B></div> <div> <IMG SRC="3d4ba050.gif" border=0 width="442" height="5" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> What's the number one rule of grocery shopping? Always make a list. Okay, so the number one rule of grocery shopping is actually "never shop hungry," but that doesn't fit my point — although, now that I think about it, I suppose that applies to dating as well. But for our purposes, we're talking about the list rule — the one that says you should always make a list before going grocery shopping and then stick to it at the store. That way you know what you're getting and you don't waste a lot of money on impulse buys and stuff you don't really need.</div> <bR> <div> In some ways, dating is like one big shopping trip. When you go out looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend, you should know what you're looking for in the relationship. I'm not talking about things like, "Must be tall, dark, and handsome." We covered knowing your type in <A HREF="know_who_attracts_you.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Know who attracts you.">Rule #2</A>. And I'm not talking about, "Must be into macramé while whitewater rafting." We covered having common interests in <A HREF="have_something_in_common.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Have something in common.">Rule #3</A>. I'm not even talking about something like, "Must be the prince of a small European country." Let's be realistic. What I am talking about isn't even a physical list, really. Rule #4 is simple, really: Know your expectations.</div> <bR> <div> What do you want out of a relationship? In some ways, this might be the most important rule yet, at least so far as building a lasting relationship with someone goes. If you don't know what you want out of it, how can you build a healthy one? I suppose you could just luck out, but that's sort of like walking into your local Safeway and throwing things randomly into your basket and hoping you need them.</div> <bR> <div> Are you looking for a long term relationship or are you just dating casually? Whichever it is, you might want to make sure your date is looking for the same thing. If you're just having a good time and he's picking out china patterns, you're obviously not on the same page, and complications are sure to ensue. And not of the wacky sitcom variety, either.</div> <bR> <div> What about sex? Are you expecting it? Do you have a strict policy about not putting out on the first date? What about your date? What is he expecting? And then there's the paper or plastic of gay dating: top or bottom? It might be considered tacky in some circles to ask upfront, but take it from the voice of experience, the sooner you find out the better for all involved. This is one area you want to be compatible. Obviously, if you're fortunate enough to be a true versatile, then this isn't as much of a worry for you.</div> <bR> <div> A friend of mine who is a strict bottom was once asked out by another strict bottom. He asked me what two bottoms would do together. I suggested oral, mutual masturbation, maybe even dildos. He was quiet for a moment, then said, "So basically we'd be lesbians." Not that there's anything wrong with that. It just might not be ideal for every couple.</div> <bR> <div> Aside from these big ticket items, there are numerous smaller things that you may want to check off on your list. How much time do you expect to spend with the person you're dating? Do you both like cuddling? Is his/her level of education important to you? What about employment? Many people prefer to date people who are equals in order to keep things balanced. For others, variety is the spice of life, and these things might not be an issue.</div> <bR> <div> Much like grocery shopping, while having a list can certainly help, sometimes you don't remember you need something until you see it on the shelf. Knowing your expectation can help you find what you're looking for, but dating can also help you figure out what you want. Learn from your mistakes and make better choices next time. Start making your list and get shopping! Until next time...Happy Dating!</div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>